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Friday 19 April 2013

How to meet a stringent deadline?



1 - Don't become a writer in the first place

2 - Don't sit around eating meals, wasting time. Get back to tippy-tapping!

3 - Use wetwipes and dry shampoo instead of bothering to shower

4 - Don't selfishly enjoy your weekend! Cuff yourself to your desk

5 - Ask you boyfriend/girlfriend to box your ears if you try to leave the house

6 - Manage time more effectively - Learn to weave your dreams into prose as you sleep

7 - If you have a day job, poo at work

8 - Stop cooking! Eat microwaveable shit and ignore the spots

9 - If you run out of dry shampoo, shave your head and spray with perfume

10 - I've told you before to become a gardener






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SJS :)